Subject: Bran Muffins

> The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty
>years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by
>because they watched their pennies. Though
>not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to
>the
> wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.
> One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a
>rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to
>Heaven.

> They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside.
>He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine
>silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the
>master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite
>clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when
>he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."
> The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "Why,
> nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward in Heaven."
> The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a >championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any
>ever-built on Earth. "What are the greens fees?"
>grumbled the old man. "This is heaven," St. Peter
>replied. "You can play for free, every
>day."
s

> Next they
>went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every >imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to
>steaks
>to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
> "Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is Heaven,
>it is all free for you to enjoy."The old
>man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
> "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the
> decaffeinated tea?" he asked. "That's the best
>part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as
> >much as you like
>of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick.
> This is Heaven!"> The old man pushed, "No gym to work out
>at?""Not unless you want to," was the answer.
> "No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."
> "Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."
> The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. >We could have been here ten years ago!